How To Buy Battlestar Gallactica Episodes - 12 Steps To happieness (Nerds Only!)

Battlestar Gallactica is such an amazing series that everyone has to watch them all the time. To do this, we can't just rely on the television to provide us with the sustenance necessary to sustain us through our life.

If there was every a blackout or something similar to that, you would have to rely on your i-pod and the episodes you downloaded into it so you can infuse yourself with at least 2 hours of BSG. Basically, there must be some way to find out how we can download battlestar gallactica episodes so we can watch the show 24 hours a day! I want to go through all the ways to get your hands on this amazing show!

Buy the episodes yourself (The Geek way)

This sounds like your regular ordinary method of acquiring the episodes, we know and love; but, some people are unaware of the ideas of currency exchange for goods/services. The following is a step by step guide of paying to download Battlestar Gallactica episodes.

1. Please remove the chip crumbs from your gut (or lack there of if you are one of those super metabolism geeks like me)

2. Place video game/remote controller on the floor, table, or just throw it at your dog.

3. Speed walk (running may cause loss of breath and tiredness) your way to the nearest computer without knocking over your starwars/startreck figurines. I don't know about you, but I am tired of replacing my Luke Skywalker toy all the time!

4. Log on to your computer with your screen name, "quantum75" or whatever nerdy screen name you have (that one is mine so stay away all of you.)

5. I already assumed that you stole your mother’s credit card since you are at this point. If you have not taken it already, do so now. If you are a fellow McDonald’s employee then you have less explaining to do to your parents when they get the bill for $500 worth of porn (THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.)

6. Please remember to erase your Google search and your history because we all know your father has seen your crazy fetishes in the search when he types in the letter "b" and suggestions for "Barbra Walters Naked".

7. Now that you ordered, all you have to do is wait. Sadly, you have no patients because you want to watch those tapes right now so you should go outside for a walk.

8. Please be careful of any bullies, or little kids that want to beat the crap out of you. If one such little kid decides to mess with you, just pull the calculator out of your pocket; graph the trajectory of the angle and the velocity it will take for you to launch your pen in the kid’s eye just hard enough for you to run flee.

If in the off chance the kid blocks your girly throw, make sure to fall into a fetal position to reduce pain of beating.

9. As you walk home beaten, you can feel reassured that your new blue ray disks of Battlestar Gallactica are on there way. Again you are bored so you feel that you must do something to kill time and you already memorized everything you had to do for school for the next 6 years of your life so you resort to the internet. Post on your favorite forums 6,000 times a day minimum to reduce boredom. Use words like, "noob, "choob", "lol", :), "teh", "poo", "u", and so on... to keep yourself more entertained. Also, make sure to make fun of stupid videos on youtube, and stalk people on myspace that you like.

10. After a couple of days, you will get tired of typing and your eyes have formed some kind of extra sticky "glaze" that you can't get off so you should go to bed.

11. Awakening from your 19 hour sleep, you decide you have "the munchies" (you think your cool for thinking that because people who get high say it...but we all know you are too much of a wuss.) Now, you go to 7-11 avoiding that dam 6 year old that took care of you the other day by taking the back alley. Of course you buy a double gulp because it is the best price per ounce of soda. You then take a bag and fill it with those 25 cent hostess things like brownies and zebra cakes (mmm...zebra cakes, you think to yourself.) You take your horde to your room where you proceed to eat. Now that your full, you go back to sleep.

12. 2 days later, your package comes in the mail. You rip it from the hands of the UPS guy with your cheesy Doritos fingers. The guy almost gags so to avoid more embarrassment; you just sign your name and let him go. Then you snort in the vinyl covering and let out a snort for good measure. Just as you decide that you want to rip the plastic off, you think to yourself that you can't open it because you need it to be a collectable so you leave it in the plastic, place it in a new balance show box and never open it again.

Needless to say, you just end up watching the show that night anyway. You find that there are 100 episodes of the show on every day so you watch them all. Anyway, this is a basic guide to getting your hands on every Battlestar Gallactica episode in the world. Please use this is a guide when you have to get the episodes into your room for whatever you want to do with them.